How Humor Can Strengthen Bonds With Your Children

Laughter breeds connection and unity and can make discipline easier for you both.

Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

Psychologists say that keeping that sense of humor as you discipline your growing child makes your child feel connected and reduces conflict. Humor is about connection, and a positive relationship can help when you’re trying to calm a tantrum or illicit help around the house.

While there are situations that involve safety where a stern word is undoubtedly the right way to handle the situation, most parenting conflicts are much lower stakes. If every infraction results in a long discussion about how your child messed up, it can harm your relationship.

But, I want my kids to listen without question

Think about that again. Do you really want to teach your kids to accept authority without question? What someone in an authoritative position at schools makes an unfair or unsafe request? What if their future boss asks them to do something unethical?

Children are naturally curious, and recognizing that, and accounting for it can be significantly more effective if your goal is to raise self-sufficient adults.

Parenting experts say that parenting in an authoritarian way, where control and harsh discipline are the norms can be more harmful than good. Children raised in homes that are strict and unresponsive to their emotional needs can develop chronic stress and anxiety. Also, it can make them less able to make their own decisions as adults and worsen behavior problems.

Start with humor and go forward from a place of shared experience

Humor can relieve the stress of a situation. Parents, like everyone else, don’t make the best decisions when they are flustered and angry. When your child knows they’ve disappointed you, they experience a rise in stress in anticipation of your reaction. Being appropriately silly can help alleviate the stress for both of you.

A 2017 study in The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior shows that shared laughter is what will benefit your relationship. Sharing a laugh means that both people have similar worldviews, and…