How To Construct a Life Without Room For Should

You need three lists

Photo by Anastase Maragos on Unsplash

• I should vacuum my living room.
• I should put the kids’ laundry away.
• I should put more time in at the office.
• I should volunteer more.
• I should eat more vegetables.
• I should exercise more.

Do you have anxiety yet?

So many of us are running around complaining about how busy we are. We are busy because of our shoulds. If you stop doing anything that begins with “I should,” you can create a life that you want to jump out of bed for in the morning (at least most of the time).

The trick, apparently, is to eliminate the things you should be doing, and only do the things you must do, and those you want to do. I am nowhere near perfect at this, but it is something that is on my mind these days, and a pet research project.

Alison Escalante MD writes a column on Psychology today called Shouldstorm. She details the ways parents and children suffer from focusing on perfection in parenting.